There are so many single parents out there, this includes married women who are parenting their children by themselves. Single parenting could occur as a result of:
- children born out of wedlock
- a separation or divorce
- a temporary situation where daddy is not in town due to work
- The death of the father of the house
- The dad physically present but not involved with parenting his children
Or any other reason.
Whether you are a single parent by choice or not, or your case is temporary or more permanent, I know that it can be overwhelming juggle faith, life, purpose, work. Trying to manifest your God given dreams seems almost impossible.
Here are 10 tips to help you maximise your time and deal with overwhelm as a single parent. I am not a parenting expert but I know a few things about single parenting. These are some of the tips I use as someone whose husband works out of town most of the time to stay sane.
Depending on your situation some of the tips may or may not apply to you, grab the tips that resonate with you and use them.
10 Tips on how to deal with overwhelm as a single parent
1. Rely solely on God
This is the big one, don’t try to be wonder woman and think you can do it all by yourself. On a daily basis ask God to help you parenting your children, hand over your agenda to Him. See him as your partner, he gave you these specific children therefore has the right strategies for you to train them in the right way. Always check in with him. A simple prayer saying “Lord help me” will go a long way. Hold on to His word, He has promised never to leave or abandon you.
2. Take care of you
You can’t take care of your children until you take care of you. Don’t wait till a monthly or quarterly massage to take care of you. Incorporate daily self care routines into your day- a nap when you are tired, a walk to clear your head, going to bed early. Do what you need to do to preserve your sanity.
3. Simplify your life
Get rid of clutter in your home, clutter can weigh you down mentally. Don’t bring anything into your home that will have no use. Get rid of redundant or non useful stuff in your life and home quickly and ruthlessly. Create friction free paths in your daily routine. What areas at home or work stress you out constantly? Ask God for strategies on how to simplify that area.
4. Have a schedule in place and use it
A schedule will help you and your children know what you should be doing at what time.Print copies and put in prominent places where everyone can see it. This will reduce the amount of times you have to repeat yourself to your children constantly. This will reduce you shouting often. Create a weekly/monthly meal plan so you don’t always have to think of what to feed you and your children. Have a to do list of what needs to be done on a daily basis.
5. Empower your children
Depending on how old your children are, have a heart to heart discussion with them so they understand the realities of the situation. Be open but positive. In simple loving terms let them know you need them to grow up and cooperate with you to ensure the effective running of the home. Stop doing everything for your children and delegate age related chores to them. This will help them learn how to be responsible. Set boundaries, let them know what is allowed and not allowed. Be consistent with following through with consequences when they test the boundaries.
6. Say no often
You will need to guard your time jealously. Say no nicely to activities that do not fit into your schedule. Say no to anything that wants to steal your time. Always ask yourself “is this the best use of my time now?”. Only say yes to the things that will support you during this phase of your life’s journey or move you closer to manifesting your dreams.
7. Surround yourself with positivity
Surround your home with uplifting music or sermons, even when you are not at home. Go round your house often and pray over every room, inviting the Holy Spirit to abide in your home. Invite God’s joy, love, peace to reside in your home, chase out anger, sadness, pity, bitterness and all other negative emotions. Get scripture based wall decals to put around your home. You can get some from one of my lovely mentees, founder of Hearts Springs Studio by clicking the link.
8. Seek help and invest in a good support system
Don’t be afraid or proud to ask for help when you need it. Reach out to trusted friends to pray for you when you are feeling overwhelmed and where you need help ask them. Invest in a cleaner and where possible someone to cook for you. If your children are young, enlist the help of a babysitter or a nanny or your mother to support you with childcare. Encourage others and don’t cut off people who truly want to help.
9. Pray over your children
Declare God’s words over your children daily. Pray for their salvation, pray for their safety, health and cooperation. Ask God to send his angels to watch over them daily. Write out scriptural based confessions for your children to read out daily.
10. Take it one day at a time
Don’t try and do too much every day. Do your best each day and leave the rest. On matters you can control do what you can and move on. On matters you cannot control don’t stress, just hand them over to God your father and partner and he will sort it out. Remember he loves you.
Lastly here is a bonus tip. I want you to let go and forgive yourself, forgive your spouse for not being there. You can’t have your heart clogged up with unforgiveness or bitterness on this journey. It will only weigh you down. Don’t beat yourself up. Remain thankful at all times.
I hope you find some of these tips useful. Tell me which one resonated with you?
Are you a single parenting, please share some of your tips for dealing with overwhelm.